


Held By You

by Meraad



Series: Felled by You (Cullen/Cadash) [4]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angry Sex, Begging, Cullenlingus (Dragon Age), F/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Not Beta'd, Pegging, Smut, not in character characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 01:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meraad/pseuds/Meraad
Summary: Lots of Angry sex.





	Held By You

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up going a slightly more unexpected direction that I originally planned. Blackwall, you're a fucking instigator.
> 
> I had also planned to write some bits and pieces taking place between the last little ficlet and this... but there was apparently no stopping this today.

Renna knew without looking, the mouth that slammed down over her own - hot, hard and utterly demanding, belonged to no one other than Cullen Stanton Rutherford, and it absolutely infuriated her. The heat the bloomed between her thighs was instantaneous, her body knowing exactly what this man could do to her. But he’d made it humiliatingly clear that he didn’t want this, didn’t want her.

Angrily she shoved at him, though it didn’t so much as budge his solid form. Tearing her mouth away from his, she slapped him. His head snapped to the side, a bright pink welt appearing on his cheek. “Ren-” it was a whisper that came from damp parted lips.

“How dare you,” she snarled, tears burning her eyes. “You didn’t want me and you made it clear in front of everyone at Skyhold. I won’t be your fucking whore, Commander. Sneaking in shadows so you can avoid the embarrassment of being involved with a dwarf.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond, her rage a live thing in her. Renna ran down the stone stairs and found herself standing outside the barn. Blackwall was there. His back to her as he sat by the fire, working a piece of wood in his hand with his knife.

Renna had found comfort in the big man’s arms, after the mortifying rejection from Cullen. They had only just returned to Skyhold and she didn’t know what would happen now if he’d reject her the same. Stepping up beside him, she stared into the fire, her jaw clenched.

Blackwall glanced at her, “My lady,” he said, his voice causing warmth to curl in her belly as it always did, then after a beat. “Are you alright?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, without looking away from the fire. “Do you-” she swallowed hard, nearly turned at left without saying anything because Renna didn’t think she could handle another rejection. A hand slid along her shoulder, curled around the back of her neck and slipped up into her hair, thick fingers rubbing the base of her skull. She nearly melted into a puddle right then and there. “Do you still want me?” she asked in a rush.

The hand on her neck stilled and she held her breath, waiting for him to pull away, to tell her that of course, he didn’t. He’d fucked her because she was easy and desperate, and no man in his right mind would ever _want_ her. Blackwall’s hand slipped up higher, into her hair, curled into a fist and made her turn her face to his. She met his gaze, then quickly looked away. “Renna,” he said, his voice low, demanding. “Yes,” he said. That was all. A simple word, but it held so much.

She found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. “Take me, now, please, I-” he stole her words with his kiss, his tongue slipping between her parted lips to lay claim on her mouth, while his hands found her waist, lifted. Renna curled her legs around his waist, her arms around his shoulders, she held onto him as he got up from the chair. She felt each jarring step of the stairs as he carried her up them, never breaking the kiss.

Renna felt the wooden post at her back, then Blackwall broke the kiss, looked at her through heavy-lidded eyes, the dark gray of his eyes seeming almost black in the shadows of the hayloft. One of his big hands reached between them, made quick work of the laces before he pushed his hand inside her breeches – her back arched and a soft cry escaped her as two fingers easily slid through her wet folds and plunged inside of her.

“You’re so wet,” he rasped his mouth on her ear. Blackwall’s thumb found her clit, circled. Renna’s back arched, and even after only being together a few rushed and fumbled times when they slipped away from camp, he knew exactly what she liked. His hand twisted, his big fingers rubbing in just the right spot – Her back bowed and a strangled cry escaped her lips as she came, her fingernails digging into the back of his neck.

“Please, please,” she gasped out, one hand reaching between them to tug at the laces of his own trousers, but he wasn’t done with her. He kept up the rhythm with his fingers and thumb, and she was fracturing again between one breath and the next. “Blackwall!”

Then he kept her there, teetering on the edge, his thumb rubbing against the hood of her clit, teasing, so close, but not enough to push her over. “Tell me,” he murmured against her ear, his beard rough against her throat. But she liked the scrape of it, had liked the scrape of it elsewhere too. “What has you so wound up?”

A third finger rubbed against her opening, slowly entering her, filling her. Renna couldn’t breathe. Blackwall pressed his forehead against hers, stared into her eyes and waited for her answer. “Cullen-” it was a broken sound. “Please, please!”

“Do you want my cock?” he asked and she jerked her head in a nod. Blackwall took her the short distance to the bales of hay, yanked down her trousers, just past her knees where they caught on her boots, then he shoved at his own breeches, freed his cock and gripped her thighs. “Say it, Renna.”

“Fuck me! Please! Blackwall give me your cock-” the words cut off with a shout as he plunged inside of her to the hilt. There was no gentleness, no time to adjust, and Renna didn’t want it. Her legs held up against his chest, she was at his mercy as he fucked his cock into her with unyielding determination. “Fuck, fuck.” Her fingers scrambled for purchase, but she had nothing to hold onto. Blackwall shifted leaning forward, changing the angle. She screamed. Pleasure rocking through her.

“I watched you once,” he murmured, lowering his head to brush a kiss against her jaw, so gentle it was in stark contrast to the driving force of his hips. Renna forced her eyes open, met Blackwall’s dark gaze. “I watched you fuck him, watched him squirm and beg beneath you.” She inhaled sharply. “Go to him, fuck him with my cum dripping from your cunt.” Renna’s vision seemed to fracture. The image of it. The very idea. “Make him beg.”

Blackwall reared back up, changing the angle again, so each thrust brushed over that sensitive spot inside her. “I won’t-” she choked out the words, her hand finding Blackwall’s thigh, squeezing. “I won’t be his whore-”

“Make him yours.” Then Blackwall’s thumb found her clit and her back bowed. Time stilled and everything else in the world ceased to exist as pleasure coursed through her veins as she felt Blackwall, thick and hard, pulse hot inside her.

 

Cullen sat down hard in his chair, his cheeks flaming, his heart pounding. A strange mix of jealousy, embarrassment, and rage filling him. Kissing Renna had been a mistake, he knew that. Especially after having insisted that the relationship they’d had since Haven meant nothing, and he wouldn’t continue it. It had been knee-jerk. Renna had nearly died in Haven and Cullen had realized what he felt for her had grown into something more than just pleasure drenched sex.

But it would be wrong to continue as such. She was the Inquisitor and he the Commander. Cullen had no experience, no idea how to be more than a temporary lover.

Seeing her earlier though, for the first time in months, his body had reacted. Cullen had read the reports. Knew that they had taken on a dragon, that she could have been killed, again. Was it worth it? He wondered, pushing her away. His cheek still burned from where she had slapped him. His idea had been to go after her, to apologize. He wanted her. More than just sex. He wanted all of her.  
Cullen realized though, as he’d gone to follow, Renna clearly did not need him. She’d disappeared into the barn, where Cullen knew Blackwall stayed more often than not. He waited, hoping she’d come out again, but then he’d caught movement through the large open doors of the loft. A flash of red hair. A cry of pleasure that rent the night air. And even in the dark, Cullen was certain that Blackwall had looked up, met his gaze, held it while wrenching pleasure from the woman beneath him.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before he heard one of the doors open. Looking up, he saw Renna standing there. Her hair disheveled, lips kiss-swollen and red. The scent of sex permeated the air around her, or maybe Cullen was just imagining it. She had changed out of her simple leather armor, now wore only cotton leggings and a slightly too big tunic. One of his, he realized. It slipped off her shoulder, the neckline dipping down lower to reveal a dark hickey on the slope of her breast. He seemed to be holding his breath as she crossed the room, opened the small leather satchel she held and dumped the contents on the desk. He blinked, His mind reeling.

“Strip,” she said and his heart seemed to be lodged in his throat.

The wooden cock was a new one, wide, but even thicker at the base before it flared out. Leather straps with small silver buckles lay beside it and he recognized as the contraption that held the cock against her pelvis.

“Ren-”

“Yes, or no.”

The expression on her face was impassive, but Cullen knew her. The future hung on the balance in this moment. If he refused, he’d lose any chance of ever having her again. Getting to his feet, Cullen did as she said, stripping out of his mantle, his armor, his boots and then his trousers. He stood naked before her. “Yes,” he said and waited.

Renna blinked, almost looking surprised before she tugged up the hem of the tunic and stripped out of her trousers. The scent that clung to her skin grew stronger and Cullen sucked in a breath. “Blackwall fucked me,” she said. “Drove his cock inside of me until I screamed. Until he came.” Cullen had known, but it was a blow to hear her say it. He watched as she dipped a hand into her curls, then withdrew damp fingers. “Still yes?” she asked.

Jealousy was a violent thing inside of him. Angry and hissing. “Yes,” he told her because he had no right to those feelings.

“Bring me the harness,” she said and Cullen picked up the leather straps, stepped closer to her and sunk down on his knees in front of her. He held it so she could step into it, and her hand brushed his bare shoulder as she did so. The scent of the other man clung to her skin and Cullen wanted it gone, wanted to smother it with his own.

“Renna,” he breathed, turned his head and ran his tongue over her fingers still curled over his shoulder. It tasted of salt and her. He’d tasted the mix of their own release before, and this was different, though not wholly unpleasant. But the idea that it was another man’s spend coating her thighs, that sparked the jealousy again. “Would you let me pleasure you?” he asked. “With lips and tongue-” she sucked in a breath, pulled her hand back and ducked her head as she secured the little buckets. The leather straps fit around her thighs, and up over her hips and curved around her waist. “My lady,” he whispered, lowering his head trying to meet her gaze. “I was unkind, let me make it up to you.”

Her eyes sparked with anger. “Unkind?” she hissed, her hands curling into fists at her sides. “You were cruel. You made a fool of me in front of-” her voice broke.

Cullen closed his eyes, feeling as if his chest was tearing open. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. “What would you have me do?” he asked gently. “What can I do? I broke your trust, I-”

“Beg,” she said, though it sounded as if the word were torn from her throat. “Beg for my forgiveness. Beg for my cock in your ass.”

This was so unlike any of their other encounters. Renna was angry and she had every right to be. “Renna,” Cullen breathed her name. “My lady, what I did, what I said, I was cruel. I was afraid and I took it out on you.” Her jaw clenched and she stepped around him, grabbed the dildo from his desk and slipped it into place on the holster. Swallowing became difficult. No oil had come tumbling out of the bag when she’d dumped out its contents and he couldn’t help but wonder if physical pain would be her retaliation for the emotional pain he’d caused her.

Cullen was still on his knees, his cock half hard against his thigh as his body warred with itself. Lust and desire were nearly tangible things. Little pains in the form of slaps against flesh and gentle bites were all they had exchanged before. But her anger promised more this time. He could say no. Refuse this. Then he would watch her walk away with the knowledge that he’d done this himself. “I’m already on my knees, Renna,” he said. “Anything you want, I’ll say it, I’ll do it. I was wrong. I can’t fix the hurt I caused you. I wish… I wish I could go back, take it back. I would have held you, kissed you. Worshiped you as you deserved.”

“Lean on to your elbows, ass in the air.” Cullen stared at her for a moment, his words seeming to have had no effect. He obeyed, leaning forward, momentarily grateful for the soft rug on the floor. “Beg for my cock.” Cullen felt her hand cup one ass cheek, then the other, spreading him. The cock was cold against his skin as she rocked her hips, rubbing it over the puckered ring of his asshole.

“Renna,” it was a quiet gasp and he dropped his head forward. “Please, Renna, I’ve missed it. I have missed _you,”_ he emphasized the last word. “I’ve ached with want for the last months. I need you. Please, Renna, fuck me.”

Cullen winced feeling the head of the cock, cold and dry against his opening. “Did you touch yourself? Imagine me fucking you?”

“Nearly every night,” he admitted. Turning his head, Cullen jerked his head at his desk. “Most nights I’d sit there, thinking about having you spread out in front of me, your cunt dripping and ready, your own fingers buried inside of you.”

“And you’d jerk your cock till you came?”

Cullen closed his eyes, pushed back into her touch when he felt a single broad finger damp from her saliva circle the sensitive ring of flesh. “The wax seal,” he said, opening his eyes to look at her over his shoulder. Renna’s brow furrowed and she glanced over, saw the small wooden handled device sitting on his desk. Smooth and slightly flared at the top. “It didn’t compare to one of your cocks, but-” he broke off, felt the cold drip of oil over his ass.

Renna didn’t tease. She didn’t draw it out. She pressed the head of the cock, now slick with oil against his opening and drove inside. Cullen shouted, his fist slamming against the floor as pleasure/pain shot through him. “Ren,” he rasped, then moaned as she withdrew and thrust inside of him again, giving him no chance to grow accustomed to the new wider dildo. Cullen cursed, moaned and arched into the pounding. “Ren. Renna. Ren,” her name was a mantra, the only thing he knew as her fingers dug into his hips, holding him where she wanted him.

The slap of her palm on his ass stung and caused another moan to slip past his lips. Turning his head to look at her, because Cullen had always enjoyed watching her, he felt the lust drain away when he saw tears on her cheeks. “Ren-” he reached back, parted his lips to tell her to stop, but she leaned forward, wrapped her fingers around his cock and stroked him fast and tight and he grunted. His body reacting. “Fuck,” he grunted, hips bucking. “Renna, not like this.” He gripped the wrist of the hand that held his cock, stopping her from stroking, but she tightened her hand, fucked him harder.

 

It was a mistake, Renna thought, though she couldn’t seem to stop herself. She drove her hips harder against Cullen’s rear as the tears streamed from her eyes. “Ren-Ren please-” it was a strangled sound, a choked off grunt and she felt Cullen tense beneath her as she dropped her forehead against his back. His cock throbbed in her hand, warm and wet spurts of cum splashing on his stomach, on the rug, and over her fingers. Cullen slumped forward, his breathing ragged as her own.

Renna was mortified. She hadn’t expected Cullen to agree, especially after making it clear that she’d fucked another man. She knew Cullen had a jealous streak. He’d begged for her to fuck him, then he’d begged her to stop. Hands trembling, she struggled to release the little buckles, but it was too hot, and she couldn’t breathe and her tunic, Cullen’s tunic, kept slipping down in her way. Pacing away from Cullen, Renna let out a sob as she continued to struggle. Shame heated her flesh and she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Big hands covered her own and she jerked away, staring wide-eyed at Cullen, who, still naked had followed and sunk down on one knee beside her. She tried to step back, but his fingers hooked in the straps of the harness and she watched him deftly release the little buckles. The moment she was free, she turned, ready to run, but Cullen caught her around the waist, sat down and tugged her into his lap, her back against his chest, his arms wrapped tight around her.

“Let me go!” it was a strangled cry, a desperate one.

“Not yet,” Cullen rasped against her ear and then he just held her. Nothing remotely sexual about the touch. Just tight enough that she couldn’t squirm away. His thumb rubbed gentle shapes on the inside of her wrist, and his breath was warm against her neck, the scrape of his stubble a strange comfort.

Eventually, her breathing calmed, though Cullen didn’t say anything, just continued to hold her. “I shouldn’t have come here,” the words were a whisper.

His lips brushed softly over her ear, making her heart kick in her chest. “I missed you,” he murmured. “I am so sorry that I hurt you. I’ve never… it’s a stupid excuse. What I feel for you, I’ve never felt before. After nearly losing you in Haven, I didn’t want to feel that. Because I know that you are out there facing danger and death every single day.”

“You could have just told me that,” she said. “It’s fine. I understand that. I-” Renna squirmed again. “Let me go. It’s fine. You're forgiven. I don’t expect-” His big hand curved around the inside of her thigh, squeezed and she went still again.  
“You don’t forgive me. You shouldn’t,” he said, then his fingers shifted brushed against the still damp curls at the apex of her thighs. “What does the Warden Blackwall think of you coming here?”

Renna gulped and it took a conscious effort not to part her thighs, to rock her hips towards the fingers that were so close. “He encouraged me to.”

“He did?”

“He...” she swallowed, tried not to make a sound as his other hand brushed the underside of her breast through the tunic. “He said he’d seen us together, in Haven. Watched me fuck you.” Ducking her head, she turned her face away. “You hurt me, Cullen. I never expected anything from you, except honesty and friendship.”

“Renna,” Cullen whispered his lips soft on her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”

Moments dragged on, neither moving, Cullen’s grip on her still tight. “I should go,” Renna finally murmured. “It’s late.”

His fingers shifted slightly and her thighs clenched. “Let me pleasure you, Ren.”

“Cullen,” she said, shaking her head a little. “That isn’t necessary. You don’t need-”

“I want. I’ve missed the taste of you on my tongue. I can’t make up for the hurt I’ve caused, but won’t you at least let me bring you some pleasure?” His teeth scraped over her earlobe and she shuddered in his arms.

“Cullen,” there was less protest in it this time and when his fingers found her damp flesh and stroked over her clit she knew that despite the hurt, she’d never be able to resist this man.

“Yes or no, Renna?”

No, she thought, No, don’t do this. “Yes,” the word slipped from her lips and she found herself on her back on the rug in the center of his office, with Cullen nudging her thighs apart as he pushed the tunic up and over her breasts.

“Blackwall?” Cullen asked, fingering the mark on her breast and she nodded, waiting. When he swooped down and covered the mark with his own lips, sucking hard, darkening it, making the mark bigger, she gasped, her fingers tangling in his hair.

Cullen’s fingers slipped between her thighs again, dipped between wet folds and he easily pushed two fingers in. His thumb found her clit and Renna clamped a hand over her mouth as his teeth gently sunk into the nipple on her other breast. Inner walls clamped down around his fingers and she rocked against his hand. He kissed down her belly, and she opened her mouth to protest. This was wrong, she thought. Her thighs sticky with another man’s spend. But Cullen met her gaze, held it as he hooked her thighs up over her shoulders, and buried his face in her curls.

She shouted against her hand, trying to stifle the sounds. “You don’t get to be quiet,” Cullen said, reaching up, he caught her arms, then her hands and held them as he devoured her.

“Cullen!” it came out strangled and she twisted under his merciless attention. His tongue pushed inside of her, seeming to have no care at all that she’d fucked another man. No, she thought, distantly. He was reclaiming her. “Cullen!” It was another shout her thighs clamping against either side of his head as he wrapped his lips around her clit and sucked. “Fuck!”

Renna lost count of how many times he’d wrung an orgasm from her, her body trembling and sated. Still, he persisted. “Cul… Cull…” her throat felt raw. She tugged at his hair, him having released her hands at some point with the explicit instructions not to cover her mouth and silence her pleasure drenched cries. “Cull-” it was all she could get out.

Moving up over her, she whimpered, feeling the length of his cock brush against her belly. No more, she thought. She felt utterly raw, her body and her mind. “Cull-”

“Shh,” Cullen murmured, brushing a gentle kiss against her lips. “I’ve got you,” he murmured and she felt him shift away as her eyes slid shut against her will. The scrape of fabric as he tugged the tunic down, then his arms were around her, he lifted her, held her as if she weighed nothing. “Hold on, alright?” he murmured, one hand cupping her bottom until she wrapped her legs around his waist.

The jostling was strange, then something so soft and comfortable against her back. Renna blinked. A bed. A small loft, sparsely decorated. “Sleep,” Cullen murmured, his lips against her forehead, and she did.


End file.
